Tag Archive | topiary

Spiral trunk bay trees

A guy came down the drive with these, I just had to have them.

What he really wanted to sell was his van of outside furniture, but then I saw these and we did a great deal.

I have lost bay trees in winters before, so I’ll take better care of these two beauties.  Hopefully I can keep pruning them to look more alike over time, though I don’t need them to be exactly the same – its a garden and this is nature.

Spiral trunk bay trees

Spiral trunk bay trees

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Plastic topiary – I feel a rant coming on …

OMG what? What? What?

Can I believe it? Well I suppose so.  Plastic topiary; it looks horrible, it certainly doesn’t look natural, its horrible to touch, and its bloody well more expensive than the real thing!

Yes, here’s a photo (and I apologise for making you see it) of a £25 bunch of green plastic on green plastic feet of course that you too can plonk on your patio and make yourself the laughing stock of all your friends.

Do NOT buy this

Worse still, I see some larger ones at £65.  Amazingly the same DIY store has real ones for sale that are lower-priced and alive.

I’m trying to be charitable and think when it might be appropriate…. thinks …

Inside at an exhibition?  No – it makes you look cheap.
Inside a shop? No – everyone will assume your products are similarly tacky.
In your own house? Please, not unless it is part of a train set of huge proportions.
In your garden or on your patio? Absolutely not.
In a conservatory? Only if you have dogs that kill anything alive.

If I ever see anyone buying these, I might have to rugby-tackle them to the floor and shout in their ears “What the hell are you doing, you idiot?”